


A barrel full of broken dreams

by JoAsakura



Series: Blood and Fire [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-24
Updated: 2014-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-18 15:41:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2353703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoAsakura/pseuds/JoAsakura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirkwall takes more than it returns</p>
            </blockquote>





	A barrel full of broken dreams

The wastelands beyond what had once been Lothering:

Carver was dead, bloody and broken in the sand. Aveline’s husband was dying the slow grey death. The air was filled with his mother’s cries and the wretched scent of charred darkspawn. And for one brief moment, the witch of the wilds looked Gavin deep in the eyes. She brushed the tattoo on his face and shook her head, tuning away. “is it fate or chance? i can never decide.” she laughed ruefully.

 

~~~

Kirkwall

Truth be told, he didn’t mind working for Aethenril as much as Bethany did. Hawke had done he level best to keep the most unsavoury aspects of what he’d done to keep them fed from them. Let them believe Mother’s skill in Orlesian-style embroidery and jam-making brought in more coin than it did when they still lived in the relative safety of Lothering.

 

Kirkwall, as much as he would have never admitted it to Mother or Bethany, was a place he felt- if not exactly comfortable, then competent at least. He was clever and quick and learned the balance between when a smile would get him further than blackmail or a chasind knife to the throat.

It was that balance that gained him an odd reputation of unnecessary kindness amongst the underworld. But not of weakness. Hawke never let them see him be weak. Aethenril and the others would have torn both him and Bethany apart if he did.

He never let anyone see his weakness. Not Bethany, not Mother. Certainly not their greasy uncle Gamlen. Never let them know the fire that burned in his blood, the fire that made each bite of his blades renew him.

It was in their hovel, their old Mabari snoring at his feet while he pared the mould off a hunk of bread that Bethany snapped. “One more day and we’re done with that horrible bitch.” She sighed, sponging herself off in a basin by the fire whilst mother read one of the many screed-filled and incoherent leaflets one found in quantity in the lowtown markets for free. Dinner was poor broth, bread and old cheese, made better by the fact that Gamlen was out gambling, whoring, drinking or some combination of the three.

"Well, now that we’ve paid off our indenture, I’m sure Aethenril…" Hawke started. (He had ceased to be Gavin when they’d taken on Aethenril’s yoke. Hawke seemed more appropriate, somehow.)

"No, I don’t want you working for that filthy woman any longer." Leandra said without looking up. "We are Amells and I will find a way to recover what your Uncle has lost."

"Stolen is more like it." Bethany muttered as she dragged a coarse towel across her skin. "We’ll need a lot to protect us here, mother."

"I suppose it’s a blessing Carver.. Carver didn’t…" Leandra crumpled up the flyer and tossed into the fire before stirrig the broth. "Gavin, you should see if Aveline can’t get you into the guard. That would be a respectable occupation."

"I don’t think the guard wants someone like me, Mother." Hawke said, unfolding to his feet. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Don’t worry. We’ll figure something out. I promised Father I’d take care of us."

~~

Leandra didn’t even waste the energy to slap him after they returned from the Deep Roads. She didn’t even look him in the eye after he gave her the news. She simply turned to Bodhan and began making preparations for the move back to her childhood home.

Out in a lowtown alley, he sat on a ruined barrel and sobbed while Aveline rocked him in her strong, strong arms. Whatever fire had burned in his blood, that had given him the strength to rend the rock wraith into dust and rubble and lead them to safety had grown cold and thin with despair.

He didn’t remember ending up at the Hanged Man, didn’t remember whatever string of events that given him two black eyes, a pile of dead men in the alleyway and Corff the Bartender’s cock in his ass in the Hanged Man’s storeroom. But he very clearly remembered Varric shooing the other man away and Aveline and Fenris hauling him to his feet. The elf cursed something in Tevinter and sighed. “I detest the fact that we’re bringing him to that mage.”

"I c’n go home jes fine." Hawke slurred into the wiry strength of Fenris’ shoulder.

"You made me promise to not le your mother see you like this, Waffles." Varric punched him in the chest - not hard, but hard enough to cause a fresh surge of vomiting. "Yeah, you’re real good to go, but blondie’ll sort you out."

"I hate you sometimes, Varric." Aveline grumbled as she barely dodged the puke.

"Next time come drink with me." Fenris said as gently as he ever did. "It will be safer for everyone."

~~

Hightown

The scent of Hadriana’s blood was still on Fenris’ skin as he shoved Hawke against the foyer wall. No flirtation, no attempts at tender words or comfort, just the drag of his metal gauntlets through Hawke’s housecoat and across his aching skin.

He didn’t care that Bodhan saw them. Didn’t care that his mother heard him nearly come in the stairwell.

There were no words at all as the Amell family crest clattered down the stairs as Hawke returned the favour on the way to his rooms. No words as they tangled naked in Hawke’s fine bed.

And all the wrong ones when he woke, sticky and sated, watching Fenris dress in the fire-dim night.

~~

"Anders stopped by to lecture me about blood magic and the mirror. Again." Merrill said primly as she set tea on the table. The scatter of trinkets around said Isabela had been there as well, and Hawke smiled a little to himself as he took a stale biscuit from the chipped china plate. "Are you going to lecture me as well?"

"I’ll be honest with you, Merrill." He said, breathing in the scent of dalish herbs. "I think fixing the mirror is a terrible idea. But it’s your terrible idea and considering my own life choices, I’m the last person who should be giving you grief. Blood magic…I’m not exactly qualified to make criticism there, so here’s to terrible ideas that I’m sure will bring us both heartache."

"Like how you’re sleeping with Anders now?" She blinked her enormous green eyes and Hawke stiffened. "I may not be all that familiar with humans even after all this time, but even I could figure out why Fenris was threatening to rip Anders’ heart out while we were out on the Wounded Coast the other day. Here"s to bad decisions that we choose for ourselves."


End file.
